The Prodigal Son - Her Biggest Miracle - Her Deepest Heartache

"My son, the father said, 'You are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead is alive again', he was lost and is found. Luke 15:31

I have a friend who has a prodigal son. I pray for her and her boy daily. He's almost an adult now, in a few short weeks he'll be 18, he is a senior in high school. He hasn't spoken to her in a year now, he hadn't spoken to his brother either. The brother was lucky, he ran into the prodigal a few weeks back, big brother caught him by surprise out in town, and had the opportunity to talk to him. The younger boy promised to keep in touch, they planned to get together for lunch the following week, the prodigal has once again gone into hiding not answering phone calls or texts. The prodigal told the older brother he does't speak to his mom because she is now best friends with x-wife number 2. Big brother laughed and told him he really needed to talk to mom because that was no where near the truth. It is sad, the brothers live only a half mile apart in a small little town. My friend lives only about 3 miles away in the same little town. You would think in a year's time, their paths would have crossed at some point, but it hasn't happened.

If you've ever watched a movie where a person has been brain washed, this is what the boy is like. He is so different, so changed, so cold, it is scarey.

It is a long strange story. The family was destroyed by infidelity when the prodigal was 8 years old. It wasn't the first time the husband had strayed, and my friend would have forgiven him, she did forgive him. But he asked her to not pray their marriage back to health like she did with his first affair when the prodigal was 2, he assured her both she and their two boys would be better off without him. The older boy was in high school at the time and he faired much better with the situation than the younger boy did. The older boy stepped into the man of the house role and looked after his mama. He hated to see her in so much pain. He was angry with the dad. But the older boy has a very forgiving heart. He forgave his dad and life took on a new norm for the new little family of three.

The younger boy did not handle the destruction of the family unit well. He had a hard time transitioning from mom's house to dad's house. The parents did what was best for the youngest. Holidays were split by year, that way the little guy did not have the stress of spending half of one day with dad then having to rush to mom's for the rest of the holiday. Dad really took advantage of the situation. He'd often break the custody agreement and keep the youngest on mom's scheduled days. When mom would get upset and plan to confront the dad, the youngest would beg and plead for her not to. Not because he didn't want to be with his mom, but because he did not want to live with the ramifications of what would happen if she did stand up for herself to dad and demand her court ordered time. It made the boy's life easier this way. The boy new dad too well. He knew the anger and abuse dad was capable of. All three of them did, especially the mom and older boy, they experienced it first hand many, many times. Nobody wanted to make dad angry. It was easier giving in and it made their lives easier in a wierd crazy way.

After awhile they all settled into their new normal. The little family of three now lived an entirely different lifestyle. They lived in a little tiny rental, they could not afford things they once could. Eating out was a luxury. Mom worked full time, plus cleaned a couple houses on the side, and took as many massage appointments in the evenings that came her way. All while attending each sporting event, school function, and carpooling the little one to play dates, tournaments, and every where in between. The older boy worked part time, was a full time high school student, and played sports.

But they were happy, and there was much love between the three. Thier very tight bond became even stronger and they took care of each other. They started to heal. It was beautiful to witness and be a part of.

Mom remarried 5 years later and a few months after that, the dad remarried. He married the girl he had the affair with while he was married to mom. Life went on. The new husband got a job transfer across the country, the new wife became pregnant, the youngest son was starting high school. At this point, the mom and dad had two good years of coparenting under their belt, their custody arrangement was now 50-50, the prodigal was doing well and handling the divorce much better. When the job transfer came the prodigal decided he did not want to move away from his school, friends, all that was familiar. Mom understood. It hurt her heart greatly, but once again, she focused on what would be best for the boy. The best for her precious boy was to keep him in his environment.

The mom made the moved and cried the 4 days it took to drive to their new home. She flew home one weekend a month to spend time with her biggest Blessing-the older boy and her biggest Miracle-the younger boy. The younger boy started sharing some unpleasant things with mom on her visits. He felt the dad was having an affair...and this bothered him. The older boy confirmed his suspicions. Wife #2 was pregnant. He shared with his mom that many, many times he had composed texts to send to his stepmom telling her of his suspicions, but he could not bring himself to press the send button. Mom started to see and understand how tortured her Blessing was, how confused and unhappy he was, how scared he was. Mom started receiving phone calls and emails from concerned friends and family memebers from back home who where keeping an eye on her biggest Miracle, friends who were loving on him and hugging him for her.

Wife #2 had her baby - the boys now had a baby sister. Two months after the baby was born, the dad threw the wife and baby out of the house and moved in his mistress-the nightmare began in earnest. This is the life the prodigal was witnessing. The destroying for another family unit due to infidelity. The dad trading one partner for another, the grass was always greener, life would be better, he'd finally be happy. My friend had only been gone 10 months at this point.

One day the prodigal shared his heart with mom "You won't be here to see me go to prom, you won't be here to wear my letterman jacket to my games like you did brother." It broke the mom's heart. She felt trapped between a rock and a hard place - help her husband start their new life in a far away state - help her son survive his high school years. Mom chose her son. She promised the boy, "I will be here for those things, I need to find a job first."

The live-in mistress/nightmare caused all kinds of havoc for the mom and older brother. The things this woman did and said is truly unbelieveable. Such craziness. Such drama. And mom's youngest was living in it 24/7.

Mom found a job and moved back during the boy's sophmore year. Mom had been away for 18 months at that point. The boy had been doing as he pleased, coming and going with the mistress letting him do what ever he wanted, giving him what ever he wanted for 9 months at this point. He shared with his brother that the mistress gave him anything he asked for, always gave him money, and let him do what ever he wanted. The dad had shared with the mom that he had given the boy to the mistress to deal with because he could not handle the custody battle/divorce he was going thru with wife #2. He promised the mom he'd get it together and step back into the role of parenting their son. This admission frightened the mom greatly. The boy had tasted freedom - and he LOVED it. He was a typical teenager. He had an older girlfriend - 3 years older and 3 years more mature than himself.

With mom back in the picture, it was cramping his style. Mom had rules. Mom had expectations of how the boy should conduct himself. She had taught him right from wrong. She had taught him how to pray. She had taught him about Jesus. She had taught him to respect himself and women. She had shared her hopes and dreams for him.

Mom went to her lawyer and had an updated custody/visitation order drawn up. Mom always had and still does have joint physical/legal custody of the boy. Dad refused to sign the document. The prodigal sat down with mom and told her what he wanted. At this point he was almost 17. Mom had the lawyer redo the order with what the boy wanted. After all, the boy was mom's only concern. The dad refused to sign it. By this time it was late summer. The last weekend of August mom and both her boys spent the weekend together. It was a great weekend. The boy started his junior year of high school.

Then the communication and visits stopped. He no longer answered mom and brother's phone calls or texts. After two weeks of silence mom stopped by practice one morning. She quietly stepped into the gym to watch, and to set her eyes on her biggest Miracle. The boy noticed, and after a few minutes he walked by her and asked "What are you doing here?" Mom replied, "I just wanted to see you." What he said next crushed the mom's heart, he said "If I wanted to talk to you, I would have picked up the phone." He then turned and walked back onto the court. As painful as it was, the mom stayed a while longer, then quietly slipped away.

Mom went to every single game that school year, attended school events, conferences, she loved her boy from afar. When ever he saw her, it was like she was a complete stranger to him, like he had never set eyes on his mama before in his life. Mom text the boy daily telling him she would always love him, she would love forever and for always, no matter what. Mom sent the boy a couple letters, she had his birthday present hand delivered to him at school to make sure he would receive it. She mailed him a check every payday so he'd have some spending money in his pocket. He never responded. He never endorsed not one check, the mistress-who now is the 3rd wife- endorsed every.single.check. mom sent, a year's worth of checks, one mailed every two weeks.

Her family and friends could not believe how the boy was treating not only his mom, but his older brother. The older brother has really struggled with this. Mom continues to remind her oldest that for 14 years and 9 months they raised that boy, they instilled values and morals in him, they taught him about the love of God our Farther, they took him to church - dad wasn't around to do it, he was too busy living his life, playing his sports. Mom reassured her oldest it was buried deep inside, it was there, and for the time being they needed to keep praying for him, to keep loving him, and to never give up on him.

God laid on the mom's heart, love, patience, mercy, forgiveness, grace...God reassured the mom He loved her biggest Miracle more than she did. That boy belonged to Him and Him alone. And during this dark season He was holding that boy close, and the mom too.

This reassured and soothed mom's heart. But it is still painful. She struggles daily with the separation. Her boy just started his senior year in high school. Mom has been living apart from her husband for 17 months now. She flies home once a month to spend a few days with her husband. He's been a big support an dis so thankful, but it has been hard. Mom is now looking forward to this last year of high school to come to an end, and moving back home with her husband. She's counting the days. Mom is actually dreading this school year. It is an important one for the boy, and it looks like mom will be excluded from activities again this year.

But mom has faith. Mom serves and awesome miracle moving God. Mom is trying so hard to keep her eyes on her Abba Father. Mom knows that she knows that she knows that God can and will bring reconciliation. Mom rejoices in the fact that her son is alive and her son is healthy. Just this past year mom has seen 3 of her friends bury their sons way to young. Mom is so thankful her boy is alive, her boy is healthy. There is still time for reconciliation.

Mom has also grown through this biggest challenge of her life. She thought the affairs and then the divorce was her biggest, most painful times of her life. It doesn't compare to the pain of this season she is walking through. Mom is being refined, and it is painful. Mom is walking thru the valley of the shadow of death and has been for one year now, but she chooses to keep her eyes on Jesus. He is her strength. He knows her pain. He has seen every.single.tear she has shed, and there has been many over the past year.

Mom shared with me that her eyes have even open to some truths. She was not fully living her life the way God intended. It was brougth to her attention there are some rules that must be followed:

1. God first



2. Husband second



3. Kids third...even if those kids don't belong to the husband. Even if mom has loved those kids longer than she has loved her new husband.

Mom has also shared that the mighty God she loves so much is telling her, 'It is time. It is time to live this life to the fullest. It is time to appreciate every single second I give you. It is time to fully hand ME MY BOY BACK. HE IS MINE AND I LOVE HIM MORE THAN YOU DO. It is time to let go and let ME deal with MY miracle.'

Bloggy friends will you pray for my friend? Will you pray for her biggest Miracle? Will you pray for reconciliation for the mom and her two boys?

Resting in Jesus,

~s